1. Beer throwers.
2. People who take moshing too far.
3. Screaming teenage girls who found out about this band in NME.
4. People so drunk that they may as well not even be here.
5. People updating Twitter/Facebook mid-song.
6. People taking selfies mid-song.
7. People continually making ‘song requests’ by screaming them between each song.
8. People who come to gigs despite apparently objecting to any physical human contact.
9. People who arrive late and try to push to the front.
10. Tolerating some real, shitty support bands.
11. Crowd surfers. No, I won’t make any effort to catch you.
12. People who continually talk throughout every song.
13. The guy standing behind me who constantly says he only likes their “older stuff”.
14. We know the band are coming back for an encore, but we still have to be all like…
15. People who film the entire performance on their shitty phone camera.
16. And finally, when it’s all over… waiting for the cab home…
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Author: Mark Wood
Music blogger, t-shirt flogger, literary cannon fodder.